“Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits.”
Satchel Paige 1906-1982
This last week, I have done a lot of sitting and a lot of sitting and thinking. Spending a week in silence will do that to you. It’s easy to sit perfectly still and gaze out over the beauty of the ocean. Your mind just seems to go to a different place. Sometimes it takes that to really—really listen to God. We think that we listen, but in the busyness of our life, we tend to do a lot more talking to God than listening.
God had some things He needed to say to me, and I had some questions that I needed to ask. It’s all kind of personal, so I won’t go in to all the details, but suffice it to say—we had a heart to heart. It is humbling and a privilege to be here in this beautiful place. God knew last fall when I made the reservations that I would need this time with Him. I’m grateful that He made it happen.
This scripture in Deuteronomy 3:25-33 (Msg) pretty well says it all:
God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It's a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God. It's a good thing when you're young to stick it out through the hard times.
When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions: Wait for hope to appear. Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face. The "worst" is never the worst.
Why? Because the Master won't ever walk out and fail to return. If he works severely, he also works tenderly. His stockpiles of loyal love are immense. He takes no pleasure in making life hard, in throwing roadblocks in the way.
Coming out of the silence and back into the world of chemo treatments and reality, I feel more equipped to handle the next part of this journey. There is a joy that has welled up inside of my soul. Whatever I have to face, God will not forsake me. He hasn't failed me yet. He never will.